


The truth about porn

by xJane



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But nothing more than talk, First Meetings, Lots and lots of talk about porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xJane/pseuds/xJane
Summary: “I let you mooch off of my Wi-Fi and this is how you repay me?”Lucas blinked.In front of his apartment door stood a tall, lean guy with storm in his eyes.“Sorry? Who are you?”“I live next door, asshole, you don’t even know whose Wi-Fi you’ve been using?”, the stranger bit, as he pushed past Lucas and stepped inside Lucas’ flat.Lucas stared at the man’s back. Broad shoulders. Sunkissed brown hair that spiked in all directions. And – Lucas whipped his eyes back up. He absolutely did not just appraise his very angry neighbour’s very nice ass.“Uhm, sorry, but I don’t really know what –”Mr. Nice Ass turned around, fuming.“You don’t know about downloading all that shitty porn using my Wi-Fi? I got a fucking bill that’s about my monthly wages, you wanker!”***Or, the one where Eliott and Lucas meet because of porn.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 20
Kudos: 192





	The truth about porn

**Author's Note:**

> I am trying to write the ensuing shenanigans, but smut is not really my forte, so I don't know if it'll ever happen... So I thought I'd leave you with this already.
> 
> But you're all absolutely free to use your imagination!

“I let you mooch off of my Wi-Fi and this is how you repay me?”

Lucas blinked.

In front of his apartment door stood a tall, lean guy with storm in his eyes.

“Sorry? Who are you?”

“I live next door, asshole, you don’t even know whose Wi-Fi you’ve been using?”, the stranger bit, as he pushed past Lucas and stepped inside Lucas’ flat.

Lucas stared at the man’s back. Broad shoulders. Sunkissed brown hair that spiked in all directions. And – Lucas whipped his eyes back up. He absolutely did _not_ just appraise his _very_ angry neighbour’s _very_ nice ass.

“Uhm, sorry, but I don’t really know what –”

Mr. Nice Ass turned around, fuming.

“You don’t know about downloading all that shitty porn using _my_ Wi-Fi? I got a fucking bill that’s about my monthly wages, you wanker!”

For a heart-stopping second, Lucas was afraid this guy somehow knew exactly what porn he’d been watching recently. The blood drained from his face.

“Yeah, that’s right, you asshole. You know, I knew somebody was on my Wi-Fi for months, but I didn’t really mind all that much, it was only a couple of gigabytes and it didn’t bother me. But this?”

He waved a bill in Lucas’ face.

“This is fucking insane! So I looked into it and you’ve downloaded half the fucking internet’s worth of porn! Maybe get a fucking girlfriend so you don’t have to jerk off to a hundred versions of ‘Barely legal with big tits’ and ‘Horny MILF’! You are going to pay this fucking bill, I swear!”

Huh? Lucas definitely had not downloaded anything in those categories.

“Look, uhm, you have the wrong guy. That was not me.”

His neighbour scoffed.

“Yeah, right. As if I’d believe a word out of your mouth.”

Lucas stepped closer, but the fury in the guy’s eyes made him retreat hastily, his hands up in a plea.

“Seriously, though, I mean it, I didn’t download those things you’re talking about...”

“Just admit it, fuck. You better have some hundred euro bills to spare.” He threw the invoice at Lucas, who swallowed at the amount. 

Okay. He’d have to come clean.

“I swear. If it was me downloading porn on your Wi-Fi, it definitely wouldn’t have been anything involving tits or MILFs.”

The other halted, confused.

“Listen. My porn is situated more in the ‘Big dick’ category. I can show you, if you don’t believe me.”

Lucas figured his neighbour, like most straight men, would do anything rather than come anywhere near gay porn, so it was a complete surprise when after a moment of stunned silence his neighbour said in a somewhat calmer voice, “Okay. Show me.”

Shit. Lucas looked at the guy with open mouth.

“You want me to show you my porn history?”

The man shrugged.

“Either it is tits and MILF’s, in which case I already know exactly, or it’s not, in the unlikely case you didn’t just make up that to get out of paying for your jerking sessions. My money’s on the first option.”

Wow. Lucas knew his cheeks were burning red.

“I don’t… I can’t just show that to you! That’s private!”

“See? You are just making it up. I’ll be expecting my payment by next weekend.”

He stormed past Lucas. Lucas’ eyes fell on the invoice again. Fuck, whoever had managed to rack up this much on Mr. Neighbour’s bill must have seen every fucking big tit out there. Lucas really didn’t have that kind of money handy. Fuck. He had no choice.

“Stop!”

He sighed.

“Okay. I’ll show you.” He went to open his laptop, trying one more time. “Are you sure you want to look at this?”

“I won’t make you play the actual videos, don’t worry.”

Certain the blush on his cheeks was now rivalling a tomato, Lucas opened up his internet history, turning away resignedly. 

Mr. Neighbour hummed.

“I see. Seems you are indeed not the kind of guy who watches 'Spring break bimbo'.”

Lucas whimpered, his hands in front of his face.

“Sorry. I really thought… you know.”

Lucas still didn’t face his neighbour, utterly mortified now. 

“It’s fine… just… go away… Pretend you never were here, please!”

He heard the man pick up his invoice, and move towards the door. Just as he thought it was safe to show his face, close his laptop, curse himself for his lack of willpower and his lack of a boyfriend to take care of this stuff, and bemoan the fact that he could never _ever_ look his neighbour in the eyes again – which was a shame in and of itself, really, because those eyes had been rather beautiful – he felt a hand on his shoulder. He shrieked.

“Oh my god! What did you do that for? You don’t have to creep up on me like that!”

“Fuck, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

They both stood frozen for a second, until Lucas became achingly aware of the hand on his shoulder.

“What do you want now?”, he asked, almost whispering.

“I just wanted to apologize again. I shouldn’t have made you show that.”

“It’s fine, really,” Lucas babbled. God, he just really wished this ordeal could be over already before he just died of embarrassment. “If you could just forget all about the past ten minutes, though, that would be great…”

“Hey. Would it help if I told you I have actually seen some of those videos?”

Wait.

“What?”

Mr. Neighbour grinned.

“I just thought… you seem so embarrassed; I’d thought maybe I could just let you know you do have good taste in porn apparently.”

Lucas groaned.

“God, please… This is just too awkward, you know.”

“I mean it, though. Don’t be uncomfortable. I’m not straight, so you don’t have to be ashamed about what you’re watching on my account.”

Lucas looked up.

“Uhm. Okay. Well, I’m still rather mortified, though. I mean, I never thought I’d be sharing my private internet history with some guy whose name I don’t even know… God. Fuck. This is just all way too much of a mess. How do I keep ending up in this kind of situation?”

“Oh, I’m Eliott. Please, just don’t be embarrassed! I should be the one who feels bad, I made you show me instead of just believing you. Hey, you know what? You can come over to my place and I’ll show you mine!”

Lucas managed a small smile.

“No need, thank you…”

“Seriously though! Stop feeling so bad. God, I feel terrible! How can I make it up to you?”

Lucas turned away and hugged himself.

“You don’t have to! Just… go away, I guess.”

“But I want to, please! At least tell me your name.” Eliott gently turned him around and looked at him with an expression that was completely different from the one he wore when he came in. Lucas now felt a whole other sort of awkwardness. Fuck, Eliott was hot. 

“Lucas,” he begrudgingly murmured.

A smile appeared on Eliott’s face.

“Lucas. Nice to meet you. I did see you once or twice before, in the hallway.”

“You did?” Lucas certainly never saw Eliott.

“I did. And I thought you were cute, by the way. Which is why I didn’t mind so much when I thought you were using my Wi-Fi…”

“Whoa.” Lucas held up his hands. There was way too much information in that sentence for his befuddled brain to unpack right now.

Eliott seemed to understand.

“Okay. We can get back to that later. I wanna make up for making you feel bad, Lucas. Just let me get you dinner or something.” He looked at Lucas with such a pleading look in his sparkly eyes, that Lucas barely remembered why he’d refused in the first place.

And just like that, Lucas knew that Eliott was a whirlwind, a chaotic force of nature, against whom he’d never stand a chance. It was better to give in now.

~

I had taken the better part of an hour and a giant order of take-out Thai food before Lucas managed to behave somewhat normally after the whole debacle, but once his shame had died down sufficiently, he and Eliott had hit it off like fireworks. They’d talked non-stop, and at some point had opened some wine and started watching a movie Eliott had been adamant about, some foreign indie flick he swore was the best movie ever made and he now knew why fate had led him to Lucas, _seriously, Lucas, it was my job in this life to introduce you to it, I swear_. Lucas had lost track of the convoluted plot after twenty minutes – _I can’t watch the movie and read the subtitles at the same time, Eliott, my brain is not equipped for this kind of multitasking_ – but he enjoyed Eliott’s ongoing commentary. 

After a while though, he got tired, and he leaned back against the couch pillows, and closed his eyes, content to listen to Eliott talking about the photography, the scenography, and other things Lucas knew nothing about. He had a pleasant voice, Eliott, Lucas thought. He felt himself drifting off to sleep, and vaguely he thought he wouldn’t mind falling asleep to Eliott’s soft whispers every night.

Suddenly, a hand touched his face, and his eyes flew open. Eliott looked at him, his eyes soft and bright, smiling widely.

“Am I too boring for you?”

Lucas felt another blush creeping.

“Uh, no! It’s just… you know… the movie was complicated and… uhm. Yeah, sorry,” he finished lamely.

“The movie not interesting enough for you, huh? Not enough big dicks?”, Eliott teased.

“Oh my god!” Lucas slapped Eliott on the head with a pillow. “You are supposed to forget that ever happened!”

“Oh, no!” Eliott laughed out loud, and Lucas noticed with fascination how his eyes sparkled and his grin could light up the entirety of Paris. “I plan on telling our grandkids about that with great frequency.”

“Our… grandkids?”

Great, Lucas, way to lose all capability of speech.

Eliott nudged his arm.

“Yeah.” He kept staring at Lucas, but said nothing more. The silence stretched on. It wasn’t uncomfortable, Lucas thought, but the tension between them became more palpable the longer it went on.

“Lucas?”

“Yeah?”

“If you don’t want to talk about those videos you have downloaded…”

Lucas smacked him with the pillow again.

“How about we make one ourselves?”

Fuck.

Lucas almost wanted to ask Eliott to repeat himself, certain he misunderstood, but the smoldering look in his grey eyes was consistent with what Lucas thought he heard.

He gasped.

Eliott’s pupils went dark as they focused on Lucas’ mouth.

Then, Lucas laughed, loud and free. Okay, maybe they _could_ tell this story to their grandchildren in fifty years, he thought.

“Are you sure you’re up for it, though? Remember we are talking _big dick_ here…”

One second, Eliott gaped. Then he leaned over, caging Lucas between his strong arms and the couch, blanketing Lucas with his body, and with his lips a hair’s breadth away from Lucas’, he mumbled: “Don’t take my word for it. Discover for yourself.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any mistakes!
> 
> Also, if you'd like, leave me a comment, those always bring a smile to my face.


End file.
